An apology (and a promise).

First and foremost, I'd like to apologize to the girl who I saw in F21. Rereading my post, I saw how I didn't give you any justice. It made you seem like you were just another pretty girl (walking down the street), but really, you're not. You're... you. You're smart, you're pretty, you're witty, you're... you.

That has got to be a very stupid explanation of you, but that's how I see you. I mean, you were (and maybe still are) my friend. Or maybe you're not anymore my friend and that's why I'm painting such a pretty picture of you and ugh this is frustrating me because I can't formulate a proper apology without contradicting myself. I don't know if how I perceive you is the same as who you are, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for writing about you when I barely know you. I want to know you, but it's very hard. I feel tongue tied and embarrassed when I'm around you. I'm a five year old next to you. I'm sorry for feeling like one.

Just remember this.

I know you're not perfect, but seeing you makes me happy. It's the same happy I felt when I learned that Gilly might be applying for UCB. The very same happy I felt when I learned that Auds was my classmate, and when I learned that Michi is finally Eponine-free. It makes me happy to know that even though you were bullied before you, you were able to get up and retaliate.

Second, I'd like to apologize to my readers (WHAT READERS?) I'm sick of all the drama, and I'm sure you are too.  That's why I made a new rule: No more drama on Tuesdays. Drama is specifically reserved for Sundays, Mondays and Wednesdays. Instead, every Tuesday I'll be sharing something that's a big part of my life- like, for instance YOUTUBE.

From Facebook to Tumblr to YOUTUBE. Yes, my website addictions have grown and evolved since my introduction to the internet (barbie.com, anyone?). I no longer spend hours on FB, or procrastinate my work on Tumblr- but I do look out for the latest Vlogbrother video.

Yes, this girl has turned from nerd to nerd fighter... and she thinks you should to. You should check out their channel. Click here. Also, Hank Green (younger brother) produced this short vlog-mini series with Bernie Sue. You may have heard of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries? It's a modern take on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. It gets unrealistic from time to time, but I generally like the humor. You'll get hooked right away. A must for all literary nerds out there. Here's the channel! 

And here's the first video.

Enjoy!

I missed my Tuesday.

I have no excuse for missing it. I just missed it.

There are times when I question my productivity- if that's what you even call my current state. I'm not in the state of Entropy. That frame of mind is strictly reserved for the months of June till mid-March, with certain periods in April. However, I'm not in my start of vacation- the total chilax mode either, the Mad Hatter mode. I'm in the middle, a place which is both refreshing and unnerving. It's a place which people like me rarely visit. It's like a washed down version of paradise.

A masterpiece which was bleached. That's what it is.

Not that it's bad. I like masterpieces. I like bleach. I guess together, they make a perfect combo! Just like Mcdonalds French Fries and Hot Fudge.

Sigh

I am bored. Never in my entire life have I been as bored as I am now.

I refuse to be a hipster.

I refuse to be a hipster.

I refuse to be a hipster. 

I refuse to be a hipster. 

Oh, Ica. Go back to studying. 

Sometimes...

... the universe somehow contorts and creates ways and paths in order for you to realize something.

If it had not been the pressure of a certain event, I would not have created this blog. If it not had been for this blog, I would not have been aware of how down I have been feeling for the past few days. If I had not been aware of how I really felt these past few days, I would not have been stalking a certain someone's Twitter (no; nothing like that. I just admire how this person carries herself, and how her ability to seem confident without being too cocky). If I had not been stalking her Twitter, I would not have seen this:

Dear Sir Jonathan,

If I hadn't forced myself into CCP in order to watch Phantom of the Opera, I would have never truly appreciated the beauty of theatre once more. If I hadn't heard you sing, saw your breathtaking performance, empathized with the Phantoms pain, I wouldn't be the girl I am today. It might not seem like an entirely big or new thing, as I have repeated it to you for the past several... um, months, but for me it (whatever it could be) will always mean something. It meant something when you told me that I could just meet you anytime. It meant something whenever you'd reply to my tweets, it meant something when you hugged me and remembered me. It meant something. 

Jonathan Roxmouth and I at the CCP stagedoor.

If I sound creepy, then I'm sorry. But all I wrote was true. Sir, I'm not trying to put you on a pedastel and to adore you like a god. That wouldn't be sincere enough. Rather I'm just remembering a man -who I only ever talked to on Twitter and Facebook- who was nice to me, and made me (and tons of other PHans) feel special. Simple Tweets such as "come to the stage door!" or "thanks Ica" made me feel significant, and ultimately, helped me gain the self-esteem I had lost months before I met you. 

And I'm sure I'm not the only one who felt that way. I have met PHans, with lives that changed because of Phantom. We met PHriends over the internet, we thought of projects which involved the Phantom, we realized how we're not just the only one there who freaks out when Broadway or Jonathan Roxmouth is mentioned.

And I'm extremely happy because of that. Words will never be enough to express how much I appreciate you and your art- and I'll always remember the day you told me that I wasn't just some insignificant fan, and how I was able to actually help you (even in the smallest possible way). You, sir, serve as an inspiration- someone anyone could look up to. 

Sir Roxmouth, I hope to meet you again- maybe you'll come back again to the Philippines. Maybe I'll see you in London or New York. But sir, no matter what, I'll remain a JRoxer.

Good luck, sir! Everything's going good for you, and though I may not Tweet you as much as I used to, always remember that I'm here for you. I mean, I'll always support you.

Happy birthday, sir Jonathan.

Love,

Ica

Thoughts on MY OLDER-BUT-NOT-REALLY-SISTER GETTING INTO BATH

Modesty at its best; I swear when we meet, I'm throwing her a party

I honestly can't get enough of my sister. (Though she's not my real sister... well, yes. She sort of is- but in a very strange, distant universe. She lives in Malaysia, so I can't go there without a passport and all that.)

And here's the thing- every fiber in my being is screaming: GO GIVE HER A HUG ICA. GO GET ON THE NEXT PLANE TO MALAYSIA. YES. THAT'S RIGHT.

Whoops. Did I mention she lives in Malaysia?

Anyway, Kelly deserved the spot. I never doubted that she could get in- (girl, if you're reading this, then hi) in fact, I was ready to bet my right hand that she'd get in.

And lo and behold, I still have my right hand.

So congratulations, Miss Kelly Ng! You deserve a hug, a special snowflake award, and one plane ticket to the United Kingdom!